wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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