um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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