dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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