oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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