I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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