'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
