He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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