So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
