Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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