Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
