And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
