You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
