If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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