Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
