You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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