we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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