OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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