Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
