I wish you could order shots online.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I think i got beer on your cat.
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