omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
