"it" just moved
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize