ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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