I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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