Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
