Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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