After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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