Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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