shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
