do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm really busy with my period
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