dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm both gender and math confused
So apparently I’m into choking now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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