he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
