did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
