Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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