I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
