I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
