I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
