see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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