I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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