new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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