I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my poor anus
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
