Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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