whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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