i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Bring me that man meat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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