these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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