PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
