My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
