just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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