I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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