Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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