Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The Olympian is in my bed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
