Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
